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K-5 WRITING # 8

Mini-lesson: Revising A Rough Draft

Grades 2-5

 

 

Writing

 

Common Core State Standards

• W.2.3 Write narratives in which they recount a well-elaborated event or short sequence of events, include details to describe actions, thoughts, and feelings, use temporal words to signal event order, and provide a sense of closure.
• W.2.5 With guidance and support from adults and peers, focus on a topic and strengthen writing as needed by revising and editing.
• W.3.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details, and clear even sequences.
a. Establish a situation and introduce a narrator and/or characters; organize an event sequence that unfolds naturally.
b. Use dialogue and descriptions of actions, thoughts, and feelings to develop experiences and events or show the response of characters to situation.
c. Use temporal words and phrases to signal event order.
d. Provide a sense of closure.
• W.3.4 With guidance and support from adults, produce writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task and purpose.
• W.3.5 With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, and editing.
• W.3.10 Write routinely over extended time frames and shorter time frames for a range of discipline-specific tasks, purposes, and audiences.
• W.4.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.
a. Orient the reader by establishing a situation and introducing a narrator and/or characters; organize an event sequence that unfolds naturally.
b. Use dialogue and description to develop experiences and events or show the responses of characters to situations.
c. Use a variety of transitional words and phrases to manage the sequence of events.
d. Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events precisely.
e. Provide a conclusion that follows from the narrated experiences or events.
• W.4.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
• W.4.5 With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, and editing.
• W.4.10 Write routinely over extended time frames and shorter time frames for a range of discipline-specific tasks, purposes, and audiences.
• W.5.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.
a. Orient the reader by establishing a situation and introducing a narrator and/or characters; organize an event sequence that unfolds naturally.
• W.5.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
• W.5.5 With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.
• W.5.10 Write routinely over extended time frames and shorter time frames for a range of discipline-specific tasks, purposes, and audiences.

 

Rationale

The teacher will model this by rereading her own story from a previous lesson. The teacher will ask students to conference and help her revise a written rough draft, by having students organize information, use precise vocabulary, elaborate and clarify.

 

Materials

  • Rough draft or story from Lesson 7, Writing a Rough Draft written on a chart or transparency

 

Direct Explanation

In the revising stage, we reread our writing to make sure the message says what we wanted it to say. We can ask, “Is this clear? Is there a better way to say it?” To make the message better, we can add, change or delete ideas or words.”

 

Model

I need to reread my piece to see if the message is clear. (Read the piece aloud.) I think that tells the story, but I think I can make it better. I want the reader to feel like they can see it in their mind. I need to add more details. Notice how I left spaces between the lines when I wrote my rough draft. That is so I can add words where I need them.” Note: Words in parentheses are words that are added to the story in this model.

 

When I was a little girl, I liked to climb trees. One day I climbed a (huge oak) tree on the empty lot down the street. (I climbed so high that I was hidden in the leaves.) When I was ready to come down, my foot was stuck in the fork of two branches. I tried to (get pull) it out, but it was stuck (tight). I called for help (over and over and over), but no one heard me. Then Mr. Martin came home from work. When he stepped out of his car, I yelled (as loud as I could). He brought over his ladder and climbed up to me. By gently rocking my foot back and forth, he set it free.

 

Let me see how it reads now. (Reread the piece aloud.) Now I think it includes more details to help the reader see what happened.”

 

Guided Practice

Students will reread their rough drafts, check the message for clarity and look for places to add more details. Each student will find places to add details to help readers see the story in their minds better. Students will write the words they need in the spaces between the lines on their rough drafts.

 

Independent Practice

Students will independently revise their message for clarity, adding details to make the story easier to “see” in the readers’ minds.

 

Assessment

Evidence in the writer’s notebook should reveal that the student knows how to revise a rough draft by writing in the spaces between the lines.

 

Tier II Additions

  • Have students independently write a message, after additional practice and have teacher or peer brainstorm with student to enrich the vocabulary to make the story clearer or to contain more details.

 

Assessment

After additional practice, students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail. Evidence will be in the student’s notebook.

 

Tier III Accommodations/Modifications

  • Help to identify words that need to be changed to add clarity or detail after writing a ‘rough draft’ using a story frame suited to students needs. The enriched word list will be added to a word bank, kept by the student.

 

Assessment

Students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail. Evidence will be in the student’s notebook.

 

 

 

 

Tier IV Modifications

  • Help identify words that need to be changed to add clarity and/or detail after writing a ‘rough draft’ using a story frame. Teacher will then help the student make a choice from two words about the new words to be added. For example, if the student wrote, “The horse ran.” The teacher might teach the words galloped and trotted, and then have the student chose the word that is the best descriptor. These will be added to word bank.

 

Assessment

Students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail. Evidence will be in the student’s notebook.

 

Tier V

Same as Tier IV with extra practice time.

 

Assessment

Students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail. Evidence will be in the student’s notebook.

 

 

 

Resources

Guiding Readers and Writers Grade 3-6, Teaching Comprehension, Genre, and Content Literacy, Fountas and Pinnell

 

Copyright © 2006 Arkansas Department of Education. All rights reserved. School districts may reproduce these materials for in-school student use only. No resale. Materials may not be reproduced, distributed or sold for commercial use or profit. ADE employees are not authorized to waive these restrictions.

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