Arkansas State Personnel Development Grant

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K-5 WRITING # 4

Write Aloud: Revising A Rough Draft

Grades K-2

 

Writing

 

Common Core State Standards

 

• W.K.3 Use a combination of drawing, dictating, and writing to narrate a single event or several loosely linked events, tell about the events in the order in which they occurred, and provide a reaction to what happened.
• W.K.5 With guidance and support from adults, respond to questions and suggestions from peers and add details to strengthen writing as needed.
• W.1.3 Write narratives in which they recount two or more appropriately sequenced events, include some details regarding what happened, use temporal words to signal event order, and provide some sense of closure.
• W.1.5 With guidance and support from adults, focus on a topic, respond to questions and suggestions from peers, and add details to strengthen writing as needed.
• W.2.3 Write narratives in which they recount a well-elaborated event or short sequence of events, include details to describe actions, thoughts, and feelings, use temporal words to signal event order, and provide a sense of closure.
• W.2.5 With guidance and support from adults and peers, focus on a topic and strengthen writing as needed by revising and editing.

Rationale

Often students think that the first message they write should be the finished product. In learning the writing process, the rough draft stage is where students need to learn to get ideas down on paper and not be focused on the appearance of the writing.

 

Materials

  • Chart paper and black or blue marker or transparency copy of a rough draft story

 

Direct Explanation

In the revising stage, we reread our writing to make sure the message says what we wanted it to say. We can ask, “Is this clear? Is there a better way to say it?” To make the message better, we can add, change or delete ideas or words.”

 

Model

I need to reread my piece to see if the message is clear. (Read the piece aloud.) I think that tells the story, but I think I can make it better. I want the reader to feel like they can see it in their mind. I need to add more details. Notice how I left spaces between the lines when I wrote my rough draft. That is so I can add words where I need them.” Note: words in parentheses are words that are added to the story in this model.

 

When I was a little girl, I liked to climb trees. One day I climbed a (huge oak) tree on the empty lot down the street. (I climbed so high that I was hidden in the leaves.) When I was ready to come down, my foot was stuck in the fork of two branches. I tried to (get pull) it out, but it was stuck (tight). I called for help (over and over and over), but no one heard me. Then Mr. Martin came home from work. When he stepped out of his car, I yelled (as loud as I could). He brought over his ladder and climbed up to me. By gently rocking my foot back and forth, he set it free.

 

Let me see how it reads now. (Reread the piece aloud.) Now I think it includes more details to help the reader see what happened.”

 

 

Guided Practice

Students will reread their ‘rough draft,’ check the message for clarity and look for places to add more details. Each student will find places to add details to help readers see the story in their minds better. Students will write the words they need in the spaces between the lines on their rough drafts.

 

 

Independent Practice

Students will independently revise their message for clarity, adding details to make the story easier to “see” in the readers’ minds.

 

 

Assessment

Evidence in the writer’s notebook should reveal that the student knows how to revise a rough draft by writing in the spaces between the lines.

 

 

Tier II Additions

  • Brainstorm with student, after students independently write message, to enrich the vocabulary to make the story clearer or to contain more details.

 

 

Assessment

Students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail.

 

Tier III Accommodations/Modifications

  • Have teacher or peer help to identify words that need to be changed to add clarity or detail, after students independently write message.

  • Brainstorm with the student to enrich the vocabulary to add clarity and/or detail. These will be added to word bank, kept by the student.

 

Assessment

Students will insert the appropriate descriptors into the story to add clarity or detail.

 

 

 

Tier IV & V Modifications

 

  • Have teacher or peer take the story that was written by student (with assistance from teacher/peer/paraprofessional) and identify picture-vocabulary words that can be selected (using low/high assistive technology as needed) to elaborate and/or clarify the meaning of the story. For students with impaired vision, Braille and/or three-dimensional materials (picture outlines and/or objects) can be used instead of picture-vocabulary words.

 

Assessment

Students will identify appropriate descriptors that add clarity or detail to the original story.

 

Copyright © 2006 Arkansas Department of Education. All rights reserved. School districts may reproduce these materials for in-school student use only. No resale. Materials may not be

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